The Words She Used
by LittleLizzieZentara
Summary: Kate was going to say it. She was. She just needed to find the right time. The right place and the right words wouldn't hurt, either. This wasn't it. Spoilers for promos and sneak peeks of 5x02 and 'The Limey' 4x20. Potential spoilers for all other episodes.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I admit it. I have a mini-obsession within my Caskett obsession. It has been driving me crazy that Kate has not said 'I love you' back to Castle yet. Yes, there are understandable reasons-the last two episodes have been pretty action packed and when she was going to tell him he was pulling away ('47 Seconds' through much of 'Undead Again'). But if she doesn't say it in this next episode...Some people have come up with good reasons why it might be a while (sigh). And I'm not going to do a full-blown rant on it here. I just mention it to point out that this one-shot was born from that and the promo for next Monday's episode.**

**Disclaimer: After what I just wrote, do you really think it's ME that owns Castle?**

* * *

Kate was going to say it.

She was.

She just needed to find the right time.

The right place and the right words wouldn't hurt, either.

This wasn't it.

Castle was in danger. Or he could be. The evidence that Esposito had given her over the phone less than five minutes ago made the woman Castle was now on a 'date' with their number one suspect.

Castle had said he only invited the reporter to dinner at his loft to keep up the pretense Kate herself had insisted on.

_When we're in public, you're single and I'm single, got it?_

Her words from the previous morning seemed to be mocking her at every turn. At the crime scene. At the morgue. At the news station.

And within the next few seconds, at Castle's loft.

Kate hadn't been happy about Castle asking out the female reporter, even if it was for the case, but short of acting in a way that would have put their relationship in all of the gossip rags there was precious little she could do.

Although she trusted him, Kate couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy. Because his date, Christina, the entertainment reporter who showed up to every interview in a bikini, was the exact type of woman Castle would have gone for.

Before.

Before clinging to the rooftop of a ten story building had brought Kate to her senses.

Before Kate had told him _I just want you._

Before she backed up her words with actions.

What if the woman was too much of a temptation for him to resist?

Kate gave a swift shake of her head as she reached the front door to the loft. She was being ridiculous. Castle would never do that. He loved her.

And she loved him. He had to know, even if she had yet to say the words.

Holding her gun at the ready, Kate kicked open the door. She opened her mouth to shout out the obligatory 'NYPD!' when her brain registered the scene playing right out in front of her.

Christina was down to a bright pink bikini. No surprise there.

What was a surprise, more than that a complete shock, was that the woman was straddling Castle. Worse than that, she was bent over him, her lips attached to his.

And Castle didn't seem to be resisting her.

At all.

The pain that exploded inside her made it difficult to catch her breath.

"Castle?" she gasped.

Christina immediately straightened. The woman looked up at Kate with a satisfied smirk.

For a brief instant, Kate was at a loss. As much as her insecurities may gnaw on her, she had never really believed that Castle would turn to someone else. Certainly not this early in their relationship.

Her police training was what saved her. Although her stomach turned at the sight of Christina's lipstick smeared all over Castle's mouth, Kate forced her expression to go blank.

Castle didn't even have the grace to look guilty when he finally noticed her presence.

"I know who the killer is!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"Yeah, me too," Kate said. "Christina, we're going to need you to come down to the station and answer a few questions."

"What?" Castle and Christina said in unison. The sound made Kate inwardly flinch, although she was careful to keep her stance completely still.

That used to be them, talking in unison. What was next? Was he going to start finishing the woman's sentences, too?

"But she's not…" Castle started.

"Save it, Castle."

She didn't want to hear it. Couldn't hear it. The only way she could keep hold of the tight rein on her emotions was if he kept his mouth shut.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Castle asked an hour and a half later.

Kate had just finished interrogating Christina and sent Ryan to verify the reporter's alibi. The reporter was being held in the interrogation room until Ryan returned with the required information.

"I was doing my job," Kate replied, her calm voice carefully concealing the raging emotions within. She took out the proper file and started filling out paperwork, hoping that Castle would just let it go.

Of course, he didn't.

"You were out for blood, Kate."

She didn't bother looking up from the file she was working on. "I did what I had to do."

"What you had to do?" Castle gaped at her. "Kate, you were treating her like a-"

"Suspect?"

"Not a suspect, Kate," Castle said, ignoring the warning glare she shot at him. "More like-"

Kate slapped her hand over his mouth before he could finish the sentence. The feel of his lips soft against her palm caused tingles to dance across the front of her hand.

That did it. If Castle was going to push her, she was going to push back. But not here. Not in the bullpen, where Ryan and Esposito were avidly watching them from their respective desks.

She jerked to her feet. "Not here," she hissed. She stiffly strode to the break room, certain that Castle would follow her.

Castle kept quiet until they were both in the break room with the door firmly closed.

"What's going on, Kate?"

Kate let out a hard laugh. "Really? You're going to pretend like you don't know?"

"No pretending here, Kate," Castle said. "You're acting like Christina is some kind of rival or something. Which you know is completely ridiculous."

"Do I?" Kate challenged.

"Kate, you can't seriously think I would be interested in her when I have you!"

"The evidence says otherwise."

"Evidence?"

"Castle, I'm a cop, remember? I look at the evidence. And the evidence of that woman draped over you, kissing you-"

"Yes Kate, _she _kissed me," Castle said, his voice hard with rising frustration. "_She _launched herself at me. _She _took her shirt off. It all happened so fast-"

"And you were just the helpless victim, I take it."

"Of course not," Castle said. "I didn't think she would take it that far."

"Come on, Castle. The woman wears a bikini every time she does an interview. Do you really think a woman that does that _wouldn't _try to make a play for you?"

"Kate, why is this such a problem?" Castle asked. "So she was more aggressive than I was expecting. What's the big deal? We've had to do undercover work before. I've certainly had to watch you flirt with guys for information for a case often enough."

"Flirt, yes," Kate conceded. "But you've never had to watch me kiss someone for a case, have you?"

"I didn't kiss her, she kissed me, remember? And she had barely kissed me at all before she saw you," Castle pointed out. "But I can tell you if she had taken any longer I would have pushed her away."

"And you didn't right away because…?"

"I was thinking about the case."

"While she was kissing you?"

"Yes," Castle said. "Did you notice the first words I said were, 'I know who the killer is'?"

"So something about kissing her helped you figure out the killer?" Kate didn't bother to hide the skepticism from her tone.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Castle said. "Well, not the kissing, but right before that, the way she tore the shirt off made me think of-"

"I really don't want to know what that made you think of, Castle."

"About our vic, Kate…" As Castle filled her in, Kate had to agree that his theory could be right. But no case was worth watching the man she loved lock lips with someone else.

Castle was quiet for a few moments after he had finished his explanation before he said, "Kate, you know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you. If I'd had any idea it would bother you so much-"

"Bother me? Why would it bother me?" Kate knew she needed to calm down but for some reason something about Castle thinking such a thing wouldn't bother her was only making things worse. "I just walked in on the man I love kissing a woman who is draped all over him wearing nothing but a bikini. What about that could possibly bother me?"

"Kate," Castle's awed whisper of her name confused her. What could she possibly have said that-?

…_the man I love…_

Well, crap.

This wasn't the time she had planned to say it, in the middle of a work day and during an argument.

This wasn't the place, in the break room.

And this wasn't the way she wanted to tell him. Those had _not _been the words she wanted to use.

But this was the time that she said it.

Here, in the break room, was the place.

And those were the words she used.

* * *

**Remember, this is just one interpretation of how things might go, in case some of you think she wouldn't react like that. I was thinking of issues she brought up in the conversation she had with Lanie in 'The Limey' to form this version. I'd love for others to write their own version of this scene. I'm curious of what everyone's various theories are of why Castle would be in that situation in the first place and what Kate would say and do about it.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**New A/N:**_

_**After reading the various reviews and taking some time to think about it, I have decided to not write an epilogue for this. I agree with BlueEyedBrigadier-it's better to leave it to your imaginations.**_

_**BUT-I have decided to write a one shot that is inspired by the idea in the epilogue, but will be a separate, unrelated story. I just got excited about the ideas I did come up with but it's too different to work as part of this story.**_

* * *

**You can thank Celeste J. Evans and Natalie Elizabeth for this second chapter. Seconds after the story was posted they were discussing it on Twitter and asking for another chapter. It took a couple minutes for ideas to start trickling in. I had already been thinking there might need to be more to this story, but their discussion is what made me decide to add to it.**

**Disclaimer: LOL Yeah, right. Would I have this fixation on Kate telling Castle "I love you" if I owned this show? No, instead I would have made it happen. Last season. Probably in Cops & Robbers. Which is why, as much as the wait drives me crazy, I know it is in the best possible hands.**

* * *

So what did she do now?

Kate knew what she _wanted_ to do: drag Castle into the nearest closet and kiss every inch of his body while she whispered sweet words of love against his skin. That should get rid of any lingering thoughts of 'the bikini reporter' from his mind.

And she just might do that. Tonight.

Well, except for the closet part. Why use a closet when there was a perfectly good bed at her apartment? Or an even better one at his loft?

That didn't help her now, though.

As it turned out, she didn't have to do anything. Castle reached out and with his hands firmly on her hips he pulled her towards him.

"Castle-" Kate cast a furtive glance over her shoulder. The last thing they needed was for one of the boys, or even worse Captain Gates, catching them.

"Kate."

Oh no.

He was using his bedroom voice. The one he used when he had said 'Kate, hi' back when they had been handcuffed together. The one he had used when he had told her that her shirt was 'sexy' when she was trying to figure out an outfit for her first day back at work.

The voice that told her that his restraint was hanging by a thread.

It had taken less than twenty-four hours for Kate to discover that she was powerless against that voice. Castle had realized the affect it had on her in less than twelve.

Why would he use it now?

Was he _trying _to give them away?

"Castle, you can't-" Kate started, but his next words brought her thoughts to a screeching halt.

"I love you." His lips brushed softly against her ear as he spoke.

Kate's lids fluttered closed for a brief moment before they snapped back open.

He couldn't keep doing this. Why did he have to keep saying that when she couldn't respond the way she wanted to?

Although this time the fault wasn't entirely his. Kate couldn't deny that this time she had started it.

"Castle…" She tried to use her best interrogation tone but failed miserably. Her voice was shaky. Breathless. And came far too close to a moan.

Thankfully with the next words he spoke the bedroom voice was gone. At least she could think clearly again.

Mostly.

"I'm sorry that my actions made you doubt my feelings for you, even for a second."

Kate was surprised he had picked up on that. She shouldn't have been. Castle had always known more about her than mere words revealed.

The doubt _had_ only lasted for a second. But it had been a long, agonizing moment of time.

"Now that I know that method of gathering information from a suspect bothers you-"

Kate was amazed that he hadn't known; how would he have felt if he had found her wearing nothing but a bikini and draped over a suspect that looked like a model for GQ?

"I can promise you that I will never let a situation like that happen again."

"A situation like what?"

Esposito. Naturally.

Kate turned to her fellow detective, scrambling to come up with a believable explanation. Before she could come up with anything they were joined by Ryan, who was giving Castle a knowing smirk.

Had her boys figured it out already?

"Are you talking about your date?" Ryan asked.

"Date?" Esposito's teasing expression turned into a menacing glare directed at Castle. "What date?"

"With that hot reporter," Ryan explained.

Esposito glanced over at Kate before folding his arms and staring Castle down. "You went on a date. Last night. With a suspect."

"She wasn't a suspect then." Kate said the words when Castle didn't.

"So how was it?" Ryan asked. "A night worthy of pancakes?"

Ryan had been the one to mention pancakes as soon as he had noticed Castle cooking breakfast at her apartment early in the morning. It had been during the Scott Dunn case when the serial killer had been after Kate because of his obsession with taking out Nikki Heat.

Images flashed through her brain before she could stop them. Images of Castle sharing a night with the female reporter that would be worthy of morning after pancakes. Kate felt the blood drain from her face. Her stomach lurched at the thought of him making the woman the special breakfast.

Those were Kate's pancakes. Castle had even made a lighthearted joke about it the first time he made the breakfast treat for her, followed by a sincere show of thankfulness that guaranteed the pancakes would be cold by the time they got around to actually eating them.

If there was any hope of she and Castle keeping their relationship a secret Kate needed to get of there.

Now.

"Dude!" Kate heard Esposito snap at Ryan.

But she didn't look back. She didn't want to stick around to hear if Castle made up a story about the bikini-clad reporter to throw the male detectives off the scent. She hoped he wouldn't, that he would inherently know how upsetting that would be for her.

But what else were they supposed to do?

Esposito and then Ryan had caught them with Castle's hands on her hips and his mouth at her ear. They were detectives. It wouldn't take them long to put two and two together.

Unless Castle made it sound like he was interested in someone else.

Or that Kate herself was.

That had worked with Lanie.

So why wouldn't he use a similar tactic with Esposito and Ryan?

"Kate!"

She had almost reached the elevators when Kate heard her partner call out to her. Not trusting herself to keep it together if she allowed herself to meet his gaze, she didn't turn towards him. But she did hold the elevator.

Castle waited for the doors to close before putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. Kate finally allowed herself to look into his deep blue eyes, eyes that at the moment were filled with tender concern.

The sheen of tears that shimmered in her eyes after less than half a second of locking gazes with Castle told Kate she had made the right decision.

"What did you tell them?" she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

"That nothing happened with Christina and nothing _would _happen with Christina."

"And then?" Kate knew there had to be more.

"I asked Ryan what Jenny would think of what he had just said."

Kate felt a small twinge of sympathy for Ryan. She knew hurting his wife was the last thing Ryan would ever want to do.

"I think Esposito knows," Castle surprised her by saying next.

Kate sighed. "I'm not surprised. We weren't being as careful as we should have been."

"No, I don't think he knows we're together."

Kate frowned in confusion. "Then what?"

"I think he's figured out that I'm in love with you," Castle said. "And that you feel the same way about me."

Kate smiled. She could live with that. Pretty much everyone at the precinct had been speculating for years about Castle's feelings for her and her feelings for Castle. She wasn't ashamed of her love for Castle; she just didn't want Captain Gates to catch wind of it.

Esposito knowing the truth about how she and Castle felt about each other didn't have to change a thing.

But thank goodness Lanie hadn't been there, too. The M.E. would have seen through her in a heartbeat if she had been the one to catch them in the break room. And chances of her keeping quiet about it were nonexistent.

The words were on the tip of Kate's tongue. But she decided to hold back.

At least until they arrived at her apartment.

Because she had finally decided on the perfect time to tell him.

The perfect place to tell him.

And the perfect way to tell him.

She couldn't do what she had wanted at the precinct.

Her apartment was a whole other story.

Show, don't tell was the number one rule of writing. Kate had spent enough time around Castle to know that.

Tonight she decided she was going to do both.

* * *

**So how was that? :)**

**Now, if someone is hoping for an epilogue...I can't write it. I don't write M-rated stories and I think it would have to be to do the idea justice. If someone else wants to write the epilogue, I'm all for it. And if more than one of you want to write it, I'm all for that, too. Maybe you could title it 'Epilogue For LLZ's The Words She Used' or something. Just let me know so that I can mention it as an added note to this chapter so everyone who wants to can read it.**


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